I had never visited Salem before. Situated between Bangalore and Madurai, it was always the station that the train would stop for long or would have a rush of people boarding the train. It was one of the stops the train simply had to cross by. I have many friends who are from Salem though. My best friend Miru lives in Kallakurichi, a small town a few hours away from Salem. Atchaya’s hometown is Tharamangalam, a village 20 kms away from the city. She has spoken to me about the place multiple times and I had conjured up a vision of it in my mind. Her stories were dotted with the tales of nosy relatives, who would probe into personal issues and provide their own eccentric solutions for it. Her tales would also include an old grandmother who would ask her to draw Kolams and cook for her everyday whenever she visited. Atchaya would go to the village to rest during vacations or as a break from her house, but would be so busy entertaining her relatives’ whims and fancies.
The youngest in her family, Atchaya is also the ‘kadaikutti’ as they affectionately say in Tamil. Her brother who went to study in the US for his Master’s in Computer Science, was unlucky to have graduated in the middle of a pandemic. Locked down in foreign land, he struggled to build a career in accordance with his completed study. This time away from India also delayed his marriage plans and he was left waiting for his return. A couple years after the pandemic waned and the borders opened up, he returned to India and took up another job in Bangalore. His parents had been looking for a suitable partner for him ever since his return. India is a place where horsocopes and caste lines mark the context of a marriage more than love or compatibility. Complexion and income are also equally important metrics for a proposal. Countless matrimonial businesses that have their roots in brokering, fight for attention from worried and dutiful parents, providing them a marketplace for worthy singles.
Playing the market can be tiring, and hopelessly deterring in your search for the perfect partner. Only when all metrics are ticked and the horoscopes match, is there even a chance for talks. During the search for a partner for her brother, Atchaya would describe various profiles that she would come across. It was an uncertain and wavering path, but finally after a long year, there was a match, and the dates were fixed! The joy and relief that comes along with an accepted alliance is quite unparalleled. Wedding preparations soon took the front seat and Atchaya was immersed in it. I was looking forward to attending the wedding and meeting my friends Atchaya and Amrita - it had been quite a while since all three of us had met.
As the wedding date drew closer, I however started becoming anxious. Travelling for a wedding seemed an unrewarding task. I disliked dressing up in traditional attire and sitting in a huge hall gazing at extravaganza that seemed meaningless. However, I looked forward to meeting Atchaya and seeing the emotions she was going through at her brother’s wedding. We reached Salem at four in the morning. I was surprised to see the railway station brightly lit and bustling with activity. I booked a cab, and had a comfortable ride to the hotel we were staying in. Upon entering the reception, the manager told us that our booked rooms were fulled and no extras were available. I managed to smugly request him for a room, patiently, and asserted that we would need it only for a few hours. We managed to get the last available room to our luck.
The room was very neat and a comfortable bed welcomed our dreary faces. My mother and I hadn’t slept well the previous night in our train. My mom, because of her anxiety at getting down at the station at the middle of the night, and me, due to the cacophony of snoring that surrounded me. We fell asleep the moment our heads touched our pillows, only to be woken by a call from Amrita. She said that they had planned to go to a famous temple in the morning and were leaving the hotel by 7 am. We decide to accompany them, and forced ourselves to get out of our beds to get dressed up and ready. I was particularly prompt in going for a shower and in starting to drape my saree. I woke my tired mother up later and she rushed to get ready. While she was having a shower, I had managed to hurrily pleat the saree, something that I had never tried before. I guess, emergent situations can give rise to necessary skills. I joked later that, similarly, I would be able to speak in Hindi only when I’m hungry or desperate for help. My mother stepped out of the shower, surprised to see my draped saree - she was shocked, thrilled and proud at the same time.
After adorning ourself with our jewellery, we left our rooms to meet Amrita and her mother. Amrita looked gorgeous in a cerulean blue pattu saree, and a golden necklace accompanied by two beautiful round jhumkas. She has always been so meticulous in presenting herself with confidence by dressing appropriately for all occasions. I’ve learned so much about styling myself from her back in college. Discussing my college interviews and applications, we sat down for tea and coffee. The tea tasted so different and milky. I liked it. We finished our tea and left for the kalyana mandapam in Taramangalam which was 30 kms away.
We wanted to visit the well known Shiva temple at Taramangalam before going for the wedding. Going to the temple the first thing in the morning gives a refreshing start to the day. The sound of occasionally rung temple bells and the fresh smell of flowers give a welcome palette to start any activity afresh. Circumbulating the temple, we observed the graceful stone sculptures that stood relief from the walls. A small mandapam with the Nandi or the bull, reminded me of Mukthishwara temple near my house in Madurai. After spending some time at the temple, we moved towards the kalyana mandapam.
I had seen Atchaya’s saree on a photograph through Whatsapp. And believe me when I say that sarees don’t look like their pictures at all! When being worn, they gain renewed flair from the person’s energy wearing it and reflect it outwardly. When I first caught sight of Atchaya bustling about on the stage, she was radiating a resplendent golden energy. Her saree, a pale cream colour with a golden Banarasi brocade woven throughout the body had a sky blue border with a similar golden pattern. Her jewels were antique style temple jewellery, with mini reliefs of Lakshmi, the goddess.The stage was lit with Atchaya’s presence as she took care of each of her relatives and the requirements needed on stage. She was brimming with energy, and looked at every guest with a warm extension of emotions that nobody felt left out. I usually have a disdain for weddings, because everyone’s busy managing and there’s no time to talk to each other. Here, I saw Atchaya pull off everything with the grace and power of a loving and strong woman. She even managed to get nice photographs clicked of us by personally instructing the photographers. Amidst the reverie, she introduced us to some of her relatives detailing the second, third and fourth siblings of her mother while they posed for a photo on stage.
I do no think I have seen anyone exhibit such charisma at an event that is thronged by guests from different families. The ability to take care of them all and perform the duties required is no small task. In a great Indian wedding, there are misunderstandings and forgivings. To shepherd a shipload of relatives through the celebration is challenging, and Atchaya and her father were great captains.
I always tell Atchaya, how much I admire this skill of hers. Of making people feel at home, and loved. Today, on her birthday, I would like to heartily wish her that she keep spreading this joy that envelops her.
Happy birthday, dear friend! 🌹
----Swarna
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